Yellow

It was last year around this time, that my Grandma asked me out of the blue, “what’s your favorite color these days?” I paused for half a second before I answered, I hadn’t really thought about a favorite color recently.

And yet, I could immediately visualize…

…a collection of my things, all in the color yellow.

And so I said “Yellow” and her eyes lit up and she said “Ooh I thought yellow!” in what had become her simple, unfiltered way.

Now, when I look at my yellow things, I like to think of how yellow brought her joy too. You lose people, but they’re never really gone, they just come to you in different ways.

Flurry Of Emptiness

It was hard for her to find the words and this made her flustered. Finally she said, “my mind is a flurry of emptiness” and I said “It’s ok, it’ll come to you later.” Because I knew that would make her feel better, even though I knew that it wasn’t true. What I didn’t realize was that this would be our last conversation.