Illustration
Alice Phoebe Lou
Flurry Of Emptiness
It was hard for her to find the words and this made her flustered. Finally she said, “my mind is a flurry of emptiness” and I said “It’s ok, it’ll come to you later.” Because I knew that would make her feel better, even though I knew that it wasn’t true. What I didn’t realize was that this would be our last conversation.
Yeehaw
I’m a horse girl, I told them that on the application. I explained in detail how I started riding at a young age and how my skills advanced quickly because my horse was, to put it simply, challenging. It had been several years since I’d been in the saddle but I still felt confident about my horsemanship and I was excited to get involved with a horse rescue as an adult.
I showed up to volunteer wearing reasonable leather boots, but not cowboy boots specifically. In fact everything I had on was perfectly functional for the occasion. But I could tell they’d made up their mind about me just by looking at me. They didn’t think I knew shit and treated me poorly.
Before the day was out I did have a chance to ride. They put me on a horse that didn’t want to go anywhere without a mean kick in the side. I believe in training horses to respond to a gentler touch and so I was disappointed to discover how this horse had been treated.
We road around the paddock a bit before hitting the trail. At which point another rider knocked over a jump very near to my horses legs. It spooked my horse, causing it to buck like a mustang at a rodeo. I stayed in the saddle and reigned in the horse, no problem.
And that was when they quit judging me by my ‘city’ boots and skinny jeans.
One outfit doesn’t always do justice to our multitudes.
Recognizing My Light By The Shadows
Listening to the beat of your wings, I realized suddenly, I was the flame.
Afternoon Coffee
Our time together used to disappear into hot coffee, dipped like a pastry and savored. I have no idea what we talked about most of the time, but the conversation was easy.
Ordinary Delights
I found a new book in a little free library. And I’m charmed by a tide of pink petals at my feet as I walk home.
Being Is Enough For the Moment
I walk daily. Even when my thoughts are loud, putting one foot in front of the other is nearly always possible. My eyes are always open but sometimes I see. It is on these days that small treasures find me. Sometimes I slip into a peaceful place, between thoughts, swallowed whole by nowness. Being is enough for the moment.